My 5 year old son is having difficulty in kindergarten.
We worked hard to prepare for kindergarten, having 2 older children I knew what to expect. We taught him his upper and lower case letters, shapes, colors, numbers. We made sure he could use scissors and button his pants. We bought velcro shoes because tying his shoes was still too hard. I had my concerns, accepted he was still a little immature,and braced myself for problems.He didn't want to go, and begged to stay home. With much bribery, I mean with many incentives, we convinced him to go. He decided school was ok and told me all about it. I thought it was gonna be alright. Within the first week I had a parent teacher conference, as my son wasn't listening or following directions, not unexpected as he's a little hard headed. His teacher said he would ignore her or just sit there and smile.Hmm, sitting and smiling? She said he was quiet and respectful, but needed to be told repeatedly what to do.Wow, I was surprised, my son isn't the quiet type. After talking with him about listening and paying attention, and promising more incentives, it got better. He was bringing home smileys on his daily take-home sheets, life was good.Then I got the call, not the call about bad behavior I was expecting, they lost my son! But not to worry, they found him a few minutes after they lost him. I was not relieved. He had been left on the playground, he was hiding in the tunnel.This incident resulted in another conference, in which his teacher told me my son was antisocial, that he had been screaming in the bathroom (because it echos), that he wouldn't speak to her or the other students, that he wouldn't participate in group discussions, that he had trouble staying in line, that his response to most things was a smile, that she was afraid he would wander off if she wasn't watching him, but academically he was doing great. Shocked does not begin to describe how I felt.
I feel I must add that before school I had my son tested for learning disabilities and behavior problems (as dyslexia and ADD run in the family), he has no diagnosable problems. However he is a little behind in maturity, which our doctor said is normal for some boys.
So my sons difficulty seems to be that he is antisocial, and shy in school, which is not how he is at home.He acts completely different at school. I consoled myself that he was relatively happy, he'd come home and talk about school like it was a good thing, and he was keeping up with the rest of the kids academically. But, as of the last 2 weeks it is beginning to effect his work. He is refusing to read aloud for his reading tests. His teacher and I both know he can read the words, but come testing time he just sits and smiles. She has had to give him several zeros because of it.At least once a week I get a comment about his behavior, such as "not listening" or "Not participating in group activities". I also get to speak to his teacher on a daily basis, as I pick him up from school, and she always has a comment or complaint. It's disheartening to hear things like, "He's still not reading aloud for me", "He didn't finish his work today", "He sat alone again today","He needs to work harder on his social skills". I am aware of the problem, and I'm trying to fix it. I just don't know how. He is sweet, talkative and energetic at home. I don't know how to help the shy, quiet, antisocial little boy his teacher describes him as. How concerned should I be? What course of action do I take? Can anyone else relate to a school/home split personality?