mccorc1's picture

Discipline at Nursery School

My 4 year old son has been having problems at school for the past couple of months with hitting, etc. The teachers recently began use the traffic light approach for behavior. I found out today that once my son goes in the red for bad behavior he stays there for the rest of the week. That doesn't make sense to me. Shouldn't it be a day by day basis? Advice...

fanfuschia's picture

I can see why you're upset. I would be too. The parenting/disciplining philosphy that makes the most sense to me is that the consequence has to have a direct connection to the action. In other words, if a child is hitting it makes sense to say to them, "because you are hitting, you may not play," and be removed for a period of time. I agree with you that the rest of the week is too long. Your son needs to make a connection with his bad choice and the consequence that follows. If he's "in the red" for the next day and the next day and the next day, he won't even know why he's there. By the way....I think it's important for you to find out exactly what being in the red means. If they have him excluded from all activities while he's in the red zone, perhaps it's time you look for another nursery school. The reality is that kids hit and they need to be taught that it's not OK. I think what you need to find out is exactly what it means to "be in the red zone" and proceed from there.

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

My son's teacher uses positive reinforcement as a behavior tool. She ignores the negative behavior (she will redirect him), but rewards him for the positive behavior. So far so good, except I don't want my son to grow up thinking he's always going to get a reward for every good thing he does. He's only 5, though.