MamaBA's picture
MamaBA

Desperate for advice

09/15/2011 at 01:42 PM.

I have a 5 1/2 year old son who is having a very difficult time in Kindergarten. He is an only child who is academically amazing, very well spoken and very kind. However, he has been to the principal's office several times for being disruptive. The school uses a green, yellow, red light system. When he gets in trouble he has been falling to the floor crying and has little chance to recover from the yellow light to the green and is immediately sent out so as not to disrupt the 27 other students. Our school is a strict Charter school that has a 27 to 1 ratio and the teacher (who is very kind) has her hands full so he has been immediately sent out several times upon any disruption. The other children have seemed to have gotten into the grove very well. They sit in their seats and follow directions pretty well. Some of the children I know, and outside of school they are VERY difficult but in school they manage to pull it together. My son outside of school listens very well (but will be reduced to tears when things don't go his way) but hasn't gotten the grove of school. I have been told it is a socialization issue that there is nothing I can do, he will have to learn it himself. I reward good behavior and he has been taught consequences but when he has his mind set he does what he wants to. I sure could use some tips if anyone has any. Desperate mom.



mayamay's picture
mayamay
09/15/2011 at 06:08 PM

Relax. Don't be in such a hurry for him to be on track with all the other kids. This is the reason we have kindergarten. It is a chance for kids to catch up and to learn group behavior. Let his teacher handle the things during the school day. You can show him how YOU deal with frustration. When something upsets you, be sure to verbalize your feelings and verbalize how you are dealing with your emotions and with the situation.

MamaBA's picture
MamaBA
09/15/2011 at 07:43 PM

Thanks Mayamay. My only concern is we may be asked to leave this school if his disruptive behavior keeps up. And as for the teacher handeling it, she has so many other students in her class that her solution is to send him out of the room to the principal's office. School has only been in session for 3 1/2 weeks and he has been asked to leave at least 6 times and I was asked to pick him up early last Friday. He isn't falling behind on the work because we do it at home. They just don't put up with him leaving his desk or crying. He says he likes the school and the teacher but isn't handeling his frustrations well so he is reduced to crying.

mayamay's picture
mayamay
09/16/2011 at 08:30 AM

In my state, Kindergarten is optional. If I were doing things over again, I wouldn't send my boy to kindergarten. I'd get him lots of playdates, and take him to story time at the library.

You could also look into volunteering in his class or seeing to it that the teacher has an aid with her. Around here, Kindergartens range between 22 and 25 students enrolled.

Kdavolio's picture
Kdavolio
10/25/2011 at 10:08 PM
Kindergarten is a tough adjustment for any child, it is even harder for an only child. Your son is used to getting attention from who at home where he does not need to compete with 26 other children. Many children act the same way, they act out to get attention, even if it is negative. While his teacher has her hands full, it is good to have support at home. Try giving him positive reinforcement at home whether it is a prize or a special treat when he does not throw tantrums to get your attention. This may help encourage him to behave the same way in school. Try to get him involved with other students in his class outside the classroom. This might help him to not need attention from only the teacher, but see he can get it from his classmates as well.
danlighter's picture
danlighter
11/11/2011 at 03:28 PM
hi your son is only 5 1/2 years this is not a big problem some child do this type of activity. There is nothing, sometime some child show such behavior specially when there parents left them to a school or in hostel. There they found them self alone and unsecured that's why they start this activity and fill that no now no one harm him. as he get older and get familiar to the school every thing will be all right thanks