nickerjack's picture
nickerjack

Bullying on bus

My 11 year old son is getting bullied at the bus stop by a 13 yr old. This kid has always been a problem in the neighborhood but his parents do nothing to discipline him. I don't think they really believe their son is doing anything wrong. He does things to humiliate my son, like come up behind him and steal his backpack or verbally harrass him in front of the other kids. My son doesn't want to make things worse, so he tries to ignore it, but I know it is getting to him. He says he doesn't want us (his parents) to get involved, but I don't think he can resolve this on his own. Any suggestions?



kczwmom's picture
kczwmom

Wow! This is just like what happened to my son, though the ages are different. My son is 8 and the bully is 9. The bully is also a neighbor and is often my son's "friend" when there's no one else to play with. The family lives right across the street from us and I get together with the mother and other neighbor ladies once a month. So this was a REALLY touchy subject. For me, though, the trouble on the bus reached a climax at the bus stop in the morning and my son came running home crying. I was just livid! Once everything calmed down, I drove my son to school and talked with the principal. I told him I needed his help because I was so angry and was afraid of what I might say or do to the other boy and his friends that all joined in on attacking my child that morning. And that was the best thing that I did. The principal pulled in first my child to talk with him about the incident, and then one by one he talked with the other children. He made it clear that riding the bus was a priviledge and that he could easily take that priviledge away. And of course he made it clear how happy their parents would be to hear that. And since then, the boys have stopped bullying my child. I know my son is younger, but maybe it will still help.  It's worth a shot. Good luck.

racykarole's picture
racykarole

My eleven year old daughter had the same problem with bullies, she came home and told us about it, and we told her how to deal with it. Nothing worked.  My husband called the principle and she did nothing. I finally had to e-mailed the superintendant, and i got a phone call back within two hours. Her assistant principal drove to my house to try and deall with the situation.  The best part?  Most busses today have video cameras on them so they catch everything that happens, all your son has to do is come home and tell you, you call the principle and tell them to view the tape of the specific day. You are not dragged into it in front of the bully, so there are no consequences for your son.

mizzzmoodyinkc's picture
mizzzmoodyinkc

I also agree that if the bullying is that severe, then you and your husband should get involved.  I dont know what state you live in, but certain states such as the state that i reside in (missouri) have anti-bullying laws.  Which makes bullying against the law, no matter what the extent may be.

 

 

jasmine15's picture
jasmine15

well im a teen myself and i think u telll him2 stand up 4 him self and maybe the bully will leave him alone let him know that he is not afraid of him!!!!

natitaly1981's picture
natitaly1981

look you need to let you son take some steps before he blows up on the other boy (bully) has the principle bin told? If you have taken all steps to resolve and this bully is still going. You need to encourage him to be better than that and laugh it off. that will hurt the bully more. now if he touches you son first then support your child to pertect himself. Only if bully touches him first.

MJL9334's picture
MJL9334

Hi,

I'm 11 and I mean just a week a go I solved this problem. There was this boy on the bus well actually several and they bugged me so much. They would say"you have a unibrow u know that." or "you have a mustache." Well I think the best way to fix this is to tell your son to try to find what they say funny like they do and it soon may become so. There is still one boy who tries to bug me and fails miserabley. OI also told the bus driver out of school and then she told one of them she knew. The funny part was when the other boys found out one of them said."Madisons not a tattle tail" even though I had been. Even when I confessed he was totally cool with it. He still bugs me just his general additude. But now whenever he says something I just laugh along with everyone else.We don't talk much still but were cool.

teachlit's picture
teachlit

Nickerjack,

Read the book "Please stop laughing at me" by Jodee Blanco. It deals with bullying and how the school system and parents can handle bullying on both sides. True you want a child to stand up for themselves but you also have to think, children are much different these days. There is something behind the bullying child that pressures him to become a bully. Read the book, it explains a lot.

donnaj's picture
donnaj

Please get with the principal, and let him know or your childs teacher or both...talk also with the bus driver...maybe there is video cameras on the bus...and it can be checked out...if this doesn't work than get with the superintendent...also there are pamphlets out there at libraries, mental health and medical centers on preventing bullying...do get involved. Most school districts have an anti bully policy. I hope I helped...donna

tamz's picture
tamz

This is so aweful! Who needs a camera? Your son told you he is being bullied and that is proof enough to be completely sickened by the situation. I'm so sorry because I can remember how horrible it feels to be bullied, but worse to see your child being bullied (it tears your heart out)...

Does your son have a friend to talk with at the bus stop? If not, tell him to act uninterested in the bully. Does he have a cell phone? Tell him to ignore mean words and just act like he is texting a friend or something. Maybe he can put his walkman on and completely ignore the bully.

I wonder if you tell your son to laugh it off them the bully will get mad and provoke the bully more?

Tell you boy that many people get bulllied and it is not anything to do with him. The bully is the one with the problem. Does he have an older sibling or friend who can walk with him on some days?

I'm sorry you are going through this, but take it seriously because this stuff can escalate into violence.

GOOD LUCK!!!

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

Does a child really have to be bused to school? Why not drive him? If that's not possible, consider homeschooling or changing schools or moving to another town. Not all schools and towns bus the kids.
Your child's safety shld be your # 1 priority. Screw the rules, and do what's best for your child.