STEFANIEI20's picture
STEFANIEI20

5 year old son having problems in kindergarten

My 5 year old son is having trouble in school.He has  never gone to daycare or prek and he has just started kindergarten 9/11/08.He is very smart and he loves school.He just doesn't listen or understand that when your in school there are times for playing but you have to sit down and do you work.He will get up and run around,bother the other kids ,pop the kids in the head like there playing duck duck goose(he willl do this when the kids are sitting done doing there  work or lining up),when the kids are sitting on the carpet he will roll around,do flips and crawl around,he will also get out of his chair and walk out the classroom.When the teachers stop him from acting  out he will throw a tantrum.He is a smart  boy and he is so sweat.His teacher says he isn't being mean when he pops the kids in the head he is just playing and  when he is running around the room or doing any of the other things he does he doesn't realize that he is acting up.He also acts up when he goes to eat lunch and when he comes in from recess.It's like he doesn't understand how to act in school.He has no problems academically.His teacher says most kids don't know what he knows until 3 to 4 months in to kindergarten.He loves to learn but he does have problems with writing his name and abc , coloring and drawing.He can write out his numbers and shapes.He can count up to 40 and i just got him a computer this summer and he does take computers in school with his class every thursday.He comes home early almost everyday.There was only 1 week where he stood in school from 7:20 to 3:30.I just want him to get on the right track so i can pick him up after school with all the other mothers.I do punish him when he acts up but if i punish him everytime he acts out in school he would be punished everyday.He is a only child and  his dad died last year so now it's just me and him.His acting out has nothing to do with his fathers death.I put my son in counseling 11 days after his father died and after 8 months I was told he could stop.I just wish there was some way to deal with this problem cause i have tried.I am working with a adjustment counselor and behavior specialist too.I also don't let him watch any shows or movies with hitting.Like spongebob,transformers,powerangers and alot of others too.I have tried sticker charts,rewards,play dates with his cousins and staying up an hour later to watch a movie with me.I have taken away toys,computer,games and tv.Nothing i have done has worked so far.If anyone is also having these problems I would like to know if there was more I could do.



concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

I tried to observe my 5 yr old in his classrm also, after being advised about some behavioral issues he was having. The school wldn't let me into the classrm either, which I thought was ridiculous. I was told this was due to security reasons. However, I've been in the school for various student activities, PTA meetings, teacher conferences..., yet I can't enter my son's classrm to observe him? I think that's ludicrous! Makes you wonder what they're hiding. We even tried to get a professional in there to observe our son (which we were told was allowed), but everytime she tried to schedule a time, the school always found an excuse why she cldn't come.
How can we trust schools w/ our children if they refuse to work w/ us? Don't they want to help our children better themselves, or are they only concerned about protecting themselves. It's sad really.

mommy-fiveyearold's picture
mommy-fiveyearold

I have experienced a similar situation with my five yr. old son, just not getting enough of what of he needs in preschool so therefore, he cries and once he starts it is hard to gain his self for a long time. I really think that some of this is generated by other kids and that the staff is not noticing it. I Questioned the owner about my son being ready for kindergarten, she felt that he is but, now the teacher and I have a strained communication because I asked about my son's future. But , I must say that more work has started coming home out of it but, She is not as open as before. My son is fine with her, we do not discuss this in front of him, we do ask him what makes him cry and upsets him. There is a challenged child in the class and he needs teaching too, but what if this is part of the problem? Is the staff equipped to handle him? I want him to stay only because wherever he goes he needs to speak up and know that he can talk to his teacher about what bothers him. We all want the best for our children so we have to communicate, teach them to appreciate others and respect their spaces and at the same time us our common senses and walk them through a lot of this.

Only2boys's picture
Only2boys

Stef,

When was your son born? Is he younger then most of his classmates? It is harder for boys to adjust because of them maturing slower then girls. By high school they catch up.

It could just be a maturity thing and next year you will see improvements or it could be signs of an ADHD child as well or it could be both.

Have your teacher try to buddy him up with a child who seems to understand these "unwritten" rules of how to act correctly in Kindergarten. Talk to your son about how to sit quietly. Maybe even practice it at home, when he has work to do. Talk and Model the behaviors you want to see.

Good luck.

Only

momoramma's picture
momoramma

Aiam1, I could not agree with you more. I too am having difficulty accepting (in fact I outright refuse to) the benefit of any such sticker/rewards chart. In my experience, these charts persuade children to act appropriately just to receive the reward. Any public display or visual of a rewards chart just reinforces a message to our young 5 year olds that (s)he cannot perform the behavioral tasks expected within the classroom...over and over again. Imagine how devastating this is to one's self-esteem over the course of 10 months.

momoramma's picture
momoramma

Children need to be recognized for all the good that they do present (not just in terms of following the rules of school), but in ways such as giving a friend a pencil (recognize that), picking up a paper that blew off a desk (recognize that), showing empathy, forging friendships, waiting patiently, etc. Children need to learn how to be social, yes, but they also need fostering environments that will engaged them not turn them off. They need environments that help shape their curiosity, creativity, and natural love of learning. I fear that with all these one-mold fits all modules in the schools, our children lose so much of themselves that makes them unique and special.

chr4567's picture
chr4567
Hi Stefanie, I just wondered how your son was doing and if his behavior improved. I am having the same problem with my son and to my dismay the psychologist gave him a diagnosis of ADHD when he was just 3 but when he was 4 he went to the k4 program and did well. The teacher said unless he was already medicated she didn't believe he had it. Now after a month of Kindergarten he is getting in trouble almost every day doing things he never did in k4. I just wondered if it got better for him as he adjusted.