dramababe23's picture

21 year old looking for answers about the past...

When I was in early grade school I did very well and pretty much got straight A's until my sister graduated from my school and left for high school as I was entering the 5th grade. After that my grades fell drastically and I began going to the principal's office for bad behavior and the relationship between my mom and me deteriorated because she thought I was being bad on purpose, and it never was mended. 

A similar thing happened when I got into high school because my sister graduated before I got there and I couldn't concentrate on my work (especially math) and only wanted to focus on extracurriculars. I seemed to have a problem with authority then too and would pick and choose who I respected and wouldn't. All of my friends (who were in the top ten of my class) thought I was very smart and assumed I would be in the top ten of our class, but I barely made the top half. Did this mean I had some kind of behavioral and/or learning disorder that was never diagnosed or was I just a kid who was misunderstood?

I am in college now and am almost getting straight A's, but my schedule is spaced apart so I have more freedom to study at my own pace and choose classes for myself instead of having to be placed automatically. Will my past transcripts with bad grades trump my new transcripts with good grades? I am very confused and want to know an outsider's view.

acitez's picture

Your High school grades are only important while you are trying to get in to college. I don't know of anybody who looks at a college graduate's highschool grades.

concerned mom's picture
concerned mom

I'm not sure why your grades fell, but it sounds like when you put your mind to something, and you enjoy the work, you do well. Also, you figured out that you need to do things at your own pace which is what has worked for you. I was always the same way w/ school.
Focus on your strengths and the things you enjoy doing most. Get through college, and do the best you can. Who knows. Maybe you can start your own business someday. I wish you the best of luck and much success!

teachingmom's picture

Since you can maintain your grades when you want to, I don't think there is some disorder at the root of your grades in highschool. Part of growing up, is learning to take responsibility for your actions, and understand that the choices you make, have consequences to you. I think you are better to focus on your own choices in life, than to look for some outside explanation for your grades in high school. That being said, your college grades are going to be way more important in your ability to get a job, and get into graduate school if you choose, so learn from your mistakes and stick with it!!


deetee's picture

Because you mentioned your sister as the possible cause of the change in your performance, I wonder if you didn't feel tremendously sad that your sister was moving on without you. Sometimes transitions such as that can be depressing and the only thing we know how to do is resist. One way of resisting growing up or moving on is to not do the work that propels you and to argue with the ones you feel most dependent upon. Your clue would be in remembering your relationship with your sister and delving into the feelings and thoughts you had about her moving on without you. I certainly think that what you've shared is not worth the loss of your relationship with your mom and you might want to heal that. Nothing that you've said causes me to believe that you had any type of learning disability but if you continue to be concerned why not visit an educational psychologist for a battery of tests? If you can let this go that's another option you have----say goodbye to the past--recognize that it is over and live forward with your new knowledge.