Pregnancy
Discussion Title: Telling your Adoption Story
Created by: Host Marti
Created on: Sun, 06/03/2007 - 10:56pm.
Created by: Host Marti
Created on: Sun, 06/03/2007 - 10:56pm.
Hey All
I thought it would be great if everyone would share their adoption story here with each other.
The stories are so special and moving and help others so much.
So, please, share your story here!
Marti
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Replied: 6/20/2007 2:37pm.
My husband was adopted form Korea at the age of 6. Therefore he had a name and a Korean life. His American parents changed his name and. My advice is that if you adopt an older child LET THEM KEEP THEIR GIVEN NAME or at least let them have it as a middle name. THERE IS NO NEED TO CUT THEM OFF FROM THEIR IDENTITY.
Replied: 6/20/2007 4:36pm.
Hey melchan,
Welcome to the boards. I couldn't agree more with you---one of my cousins adopted her husband's neice at about 6 and changed her name--I thought that was just an awful thing to do. Someone has their identity and you swoop in and change it at that age. My cousin's adopted daughter had all sorts of adjustment issues and attachment disorder---I thought at the time, well I would have attachment problems too if someone stole my identity when I was 6 years old.
Marti
http://www.familyeducation.com/home/
Replied: 7/9/2007 9:11am.
In reading your post and the one before - I have to disagree about your claims that changing names is wrong. I agree that in some cases it is not a good idea but in others it is the best thing that can happen. My husband and I have adopted two children - biological siblings at ages 4 and 8. Our son (8) had been named after his biological father and therefore hated his name - we chose to give him a new middle but to keep his first name because he had already started school and it would have been a hard transition. BUT we did change our daughter's name. She also has attachement issues from her early life but changing her name was great for her. She was able to "assume" her new identity and leave all the pain and hurt behind with her "old" name. The hardest thing was her brother learning to call her by her new name but that only took about 4 weeks. Changing a name can be a good thing. It allows the child to begin anew and for us it as been a wonderful thing.
Replied: 7/9/2007 5:29pm.
I think a name given as a "number" for an orphanage is no name at all. I chose not to keep my child's name from her orphanage. I think her Chinese culture can be honored in a much more respectful way as we live and talk about her awesome Chinese self for years to come.
Replied: 7/9/2007 5:34pm.
My almost 7 year old daughter was adopted at 8 months of age from China outside of Shanghai.
The joy of my life !
Replied: 7/17/2007 9:37am.
Hello, I actually came on another forum here but then I saw adoption.I am adopted.I was fostered from 2 then adopted by the same people at 4.I had neglect as a child from my biological mother (bmum) and I have burns on my chest.I struggle with my self esteem.My relationship with my adopted parents is OK-I would like it to be better.I did go to Uni.I'm happy to talk to anyone.
Replied: 9/1/2007 9:47pm.
We have adopted four children. Three of them at infant or toddler age and we did change their names. The names given to them were terrible names. The oldest is 10 years old and he wants to change his name. He feels a new begining deserves a new name. He left the old bad word and wants to enter a new world fresh.
Replied: 9/22/2007 6:42am.
We have two adopted children. We decided to keep the boy's name but anglicised it a bit for our Eglish speaking friends. No problems. We changed the girl's name completely as she was given a nickname which meant 'fat one'. She is very happy with her new name.
Replied: 12/27/2007 11:46am.
I just wanted to tell you other ladies who have adopted what a wonderful gift you are giving your children. I was adopted when I was just 9 days old through a church and have had the most wonderful adopted life ever. My adopted parents mean the whole world to me.
Replied: 12/29/2007 8:06pm.
I foster adopted my beautiful daughter. I got her when she just turned 3. Now my daughter will be turning 8 in April. I did this as a single person. My daughter was born pre-natally exposed to Meth Amphetamines. As a result, she wears glasses, has a vp shunt, complex partial seizures, and secondary ADHD. Even with all that, my daughter is awesome. I told her that we adopted each other, and that she was born from my heart. I kept a journal and scrap booked our first couple of years together (something that she may cherish in years to come).