Host Marti's picture
Host Marti

Telling your Adoption Story

Hey All

I thought it would be great if everyone would share their adoption story here with each other.

The stories are so special and moving and help others so much.

So, please, share your story here!

Marti



melchan's picture
melchan

My husband was adopted form Korea at the age of 6.  Therefore he had a name and a Korean life.  His American parents changed his name and.  My advice is that if you adopt an older child LET THEM KEEP THEIR GIVEN NAME or at least let them have it as a middle name.  THERE IS NO NEED TO CUT THEM OFF FROM THEIR IDENTITY.

geibm's picture
geibm

In reading your post and the one before - I have to disagree about your claims that changing names is wrong.  I agree that in some cases it is not a good idea but in others it is the best thing that can happen.  My husband and I have adopted two children - biological siblings at ages 4 and 8.  Our son (8) had been named after his biological father and therefore hated his name - we chose to give him a new middle but to keep his first name because he had already started school and it would have been a hard transition.  BUT we did change our daughter's name.  She also has  attachement issues from her early life but changing her name was great for her.  She was able to "assume" her new identity and leave all the pain and hurt behind with her "old" name.  The hardest thing was her brother learning to call her by her new name but that only took about 4 weeks.  Changing a name can be a good thing.  It allows the child to begin anew and for us it as been a wonderful thing.

Vermonta's picture
Vermonta

I think a name given as a "number" for an orphanage is no name at all.  I chose not to keep my child's name from her orphanage.  I think her Chinese culture can be honored in a much more respectful way as we live and talk about her awesome Chinese self for years to come. 

Vermonta's picture
Vermonta

My almost 7 year old daughter was adopted at 8 months of age from China outside of Shanghai. 

The joy of my life !

dazed's picture
dazed

Hello, I actually came on another forum here but then I saw adoption.I am adopted.I was fostered from 2 then adopted by the same people at 4.I had neglect as a child from my biological mother (bmum) and I have burns on my chest.I struggle with my self esteem.My relationship with my adopted parents is OK-I would like it to be better.I did go to Uni.I'm happy to talk to anyone.

taosena1's picture
taosena1

We have adopted four children. Three of them at infant or toddler age and we did change their names. The names given to them were terrible names. The oldest is 10 years old and he wants to change his name. He feels a new begining deserves a new name. He left the old bad word and wants to enter a new world fresh.

shelley's picture
shelley

We have two adopted children.  We decided to keep the boy's name but anglicised it a bit for our Eglish speaking friends. No problems.  We changed the girl's name completely as she was given a nickname which meant 'fat one'.  She is very happy with her new name.

mindyw's picture
mindyw

I just wanted to tell you other ladies who have adopted what a wonderful gift you are giving your children.  I was adopted when I was just 9 days old through a church and have had the most wonderful adopted life ever.  My adopted parents mean the whole world to me.

 

scoobydoodle's picture
scoobydoodle

I foster adopted my beautiful daughter. I got her when she just turned 3. Now my daughter will be turning 8 in April. I did this as a single person. My daughter was born pre-natally exposed to Meth Amphetamines. As a result, she wears glasses, has a vp shunt, complex partial seizures, and secondary ADHD. Even with all that, my daughter is awesome. I told her that we adopted each other, and that she was born from my heart. I kept a journal and scrap booked our first couple of years together (something that she may cherish in years to come).

brenda.frith's picture
brenda.frith
we changed our daughter middle name and last name when we adopted her at 5 years of age. It has been a difficult thing for her being, adopted, and I think that having an open relationship with her birth mom has caused some of the difficulties.  Her birth mother is a foster daughter whom spent a couple of years with us and we informally adopted her into our family long before this baby came along. She kept her for the first 3 years, though k. spent a lot of time during those early years with us. The bm finally asked us to adopt her as she was 23 at the time and not at all ready to carry the responsiblity of parenting. We gladly took k. in and she is now the youngest of 6.  Her bm was in and out of her life for years, drinking far to much and in some ways regretting her choices though she knew the truth, this was the right thing to do as she was unable or unwilling to change at the time.  Now bm is in a good solid relationship, k. is 15, and bm has recently had another child. K. is finding this very difficult to accept and feels so rejected though her relationship with bm  is better then it ever has been, as bm is trying to include k. in their lives as much as possible.  Some days I am really not sure that I agree with the idea of open adoptions and struggle because of the strains that it has put on 'our' relationships, but at the same time I am glad that they can have some sort of a relationship.  Has anyone else experienced this sort of thing?

Thanks